Speech
of
His Excellency Fidel V. Ramos
President of the Philippines
At the National Press Club Gridiron ’93

[Delivered at the Philippine International Convention Center, April 21, 1993]

He who laughs—lasts

AS YOU KNOW, this is my first Gridiron as President of the Philippines. I have seen several in the past when I was among the supporting cast of my distinguished predecessor, President Cory Aquino. But this is the best Gridiron I have seen.

I had hopes that a new era would dawn in the relations between the press and Government, that at long last, the Gridiron would be delightful, witty, short and relevant. I do not know about all the rest of the audience, but as for me, I had a nice, pleasant and restful evening—I had a good long nap.

Those brownouts surely come at the wrong time. I was praying for one to happen a few minutes ago, but I guess NAPOCOR is on the job—finally.

Grilled

Had I known nine months ago that the duties of the Presidency would include playing the role of a hotdog on the frying pan every single day, I might well have chosen a few bottles of ketchup for the members of the Cabinet.

But as long as you’re grilling me, I think I’d much prefer to be thought of simply as a Pangasinan bangus. That way, when you sit down to devour me, I can stick a few reminders of myself in your gullets. And then you’ll concede that “yang si President Ramos, matinik talaga!”

Some things never change, like Pilita Corrales, the Pyramids, the pressure of population on our country and Max Soliven. Max, I hope you’re here. Max Soliven, who still claims, as he did thirty years ago, that he personally knows the most important people in the world. The question is: Do they know him?

Almost fifty years ago, Yay Panlilio of the Philippines Herald climbed the windows outside Malacañang, and Celso Cabrera of the Chronicle hid under tables to get scoops. Today, reporters show the same ingenuity filching documents from Edel Amante, Rod Reyes, Tony Carpio, Lenny de Jesús and Annabelle Abaya, rely on leaks by anonymous but—I assure you—soon to be discovered Malacañang functionaries and, failing in all of that, go to Joe de Venecia for a so-called official confirmation. Little do they and you, the Malacañang reporters, know that you and they could be wrong.

Security cover

Some things do change. Celso Cabrera is supposed to have written that when President Quirino had a P5,000 bed, which was sometimes used as a security cover, no one took this seriously. But when Louie Beltran said practically the same thing of Cory Aquino, he was convicted of libel.

I consider myself a good friend of the National Press Club, and of Celso Lagmay, your president who is an Ilocano, who has been whispering to me the whole night that he is running for re-election with Jess Sison from Pangasinan as his opponent. But being half Ilocano and half Panggalatok and since both of them profess to faithfully support, against all critics, my program of “Philippines 2000,” I cannot take sides between the two of them. Maybe the best solution is for a third candidate to be elected.

It is true that I cooked not just once, but twice for the National Press Club Sunday Club. And it is equally true that all of those for whom I cooked are still alive—which was not my intention at all.

But if you must know the truth, I was just the assistant of Sol Vanzi—Sol, where are you?—at that time, so if any you have aids now, maybe it is because of her special dinuguan.

In fact, I have a better solution than Johnny Flavier’s famous rubber device to cure aids. And it is this pamputol ng tabako. Very simple.

I used to plan mayhem on journalists who are overcritical of the Government. But not anymore. I am more relaxed and sophisticated now. So instead of retribution, I appoint those guys as Presidential consultants like Larry Henares. It is not true, however, that I am about to put Adrian Cristóbal in Larry’s class.

And I have begun to be more selective and purposeful in the reading of newspapers. When I wake up early in the morning, glad to be alive, I read about the death notices of others in the Bulletin, and go window-shopping through its advertisements. If I reach the office in a foul mood, perhaps, ready to commit suicide, then I read the Philippine Daily Inquirer. My thoughts of suicide turn to thoughts of homicide instead. But, of course, according to Erap, this is just the tip of the ice cream.

Reading matter

Now when I feel religious and want to be free of sin, I just read Betty Go Belmonte’s Philippine Star but not Margie Holmes’s column in the Manila Times. And when I want to read only the good news about the PLDT, I read the Manila Chronicle or Malaya. And for the good news about myself, I read the Philippine Journal. And, of course, Kitch Ortego’s column wherever he is now. The bad news I read in all the other newspapers except Abante, which is censored by Mrs. Ramos.

The freest media or the foreign media describe the Philippine press as the freest in Asia. I don’t believe that; that is not true. Because I am told that in our country, one cannot get a press release published for free.

But seriously now, I am happy to be here for a friendly exchange of barbs and jokes, to ease the tension of having to deal with the many problems that beset our nation today. A philosopher once said that tears and laughter, tragedy and comedy come from the same wellspring which is the incongruity of the human condition. If you slip on a banana peel, that is tragic; if someone else slips on the same banana peel, that is comic.

That is the way it is with life; whether it is tragic or comic depends on the way you look at it. If we look upon our problems as temporary obstacles to be overcome rather than permanent objectives to weaken our resolve, I say then that with the kind of sparkling wit, good humor and acting expertise exhibited here tonight to ease all of us through all the pain, eventually we Filipinos shall overcome.

Keep the coals burning

Our press is one we can be more proud of than embarrassed, for it expresses and exemplifies the essence of our democracy. Surely there are excesses, but these are to be expected in an open and democratic society such as ours. And it delights me tonight to have been the object of some fun and much admiration by the media. We have to keep our sense of humor because it is good for our disposition. Remember: He who laughs—lasts.

My dear friends, I am finished with my preliminary remarks. I shall now proceed to give you my main address.

My main address is: New Borloloy Building, Malacañang, Manila, which is exactly in the same place as the old Borloloy Building.

Thank you for the privilege of being roasted. Keep the coals burning and see you next year.